So it begins.

so-it-beginsYour partner is pregnant? Congratulations. (Man, you’re going to be hearing that a lot)

Even for the most planned pregnancies, this is a hell of a shock! It doesn’t matter if you’ve been trying for ages and taken all the fun out of sex. No amount of fertility tracking  apps, preseed or cervical temperature graphs can help you prepare for this shock. The basic thought is “Shit. It worked?!

Yeah, it worked. Well done spermies.

There’s a saying – I don’t know who said it, maybe I got it from TV or something -but it says that a woman becomes a mother when she is pregnant and a man becomes a father at birth. (Y’know I think I might have got it from Friends (the TV show, none of my actual friends would say crap like that)). It’s kinda true, In fact I’m fairly sure my wife became a mother some months before getting pregnant! But for us it’s a real mixed bag of emotions. Of  course we want it, but it’s terrifying! That’s okay to admit. You’re going to be unsure many times over the next 9 months. Are you doing this at the right time? Can you afford it? You’re not mature enough to be a parent! How the hell will the kid survive having me as a Dad?

You have to deal with all of these thoughts  without having a physical bond to the baby yet. It’ll be ages before there’s even a bump to talk to.  It really does feel like a theoretical exercise for the first few months. You’re making plans, but it ain’t happening for you emotionally yet. Don’t worry, you’re not cold hearted, it’ll happen. You’ll love it more than you can currently comprehend…

Just not until you hold it.