A friend of a friend said to a friend “You put everything you’ve got into caring for this baby. Then a year or 18 months later you work out if you’ve still got a relationship with your wife.”
He’s divorced now.
Whilst it seems like a big mistake, what he said does ring some truths that I can relate to. He’s totally right that it’s so easy to spend all of your time caring for your new child that you don’t pay attention to your partner. We’ve been guilty of this for a few days at a time, a week or so at most, I can imagine that if that rolls on and on for months to years that a relationship could be in serious trouble.
On top of all the extra duties you now have as a father, I believe you have to work harder than ever to remain a couple. So what can you do?
An extremely popular option is to set up a regular date night with your partner. Nothing too flashy, but if you can leave the baby behind for a night, or a day, and go do something for you. Something to keep you going for the next month.
1 Minute Hugs
This came up in our NCT classes. Try to hug for one minute a day. It releases Serotonin, the happy hormone. I mean, obviously, do it when the kid is asleep! I can’t imagine you’ll find one whole minute to do it when he’s awake!
Talk About Something Else
Anything! There are other things out there. Trust me, I’ve seen them. Or I heard about them once, on the news.
Make Them Happy
Work out what makes your partner happy and do it. Even if you don’t love it too, or it’s hard work. This is not necessarily about sex.